Accept & Adapt ~ My New Journey. . .

I Surrender All - arrangement by Greg Howlett
(Please click for background music as you read this message of H.I.M.)

In May 2013 while recovering at home for a year, I began a one-year series of writings about the lessons I had learned, after being diagnosed with Stage 2 Breast Cancer.

Sadly, however, in March of this year, due to an unexpected turn of events, I am now living with Stage 4 Breast Cancer, the last stage. To say my beloved family and I are devastated, beyond words, is an understatement; however, this is now my new journey. More than ever before, I must face my mortality and embrace whatever limited time I may be granted with my loved ones.  We all know life is a journey not a destination.  So I ask, have you ever thought of where your life's journey is leading you, what is your purpose in life, or what are your doing with the time you have been granted?

As my medical team of specialists and surgeons are trying everything possible to help slow down the progression of my metastatic disease, I, meanwhile, must accept and adapt that this will most likely be my final chapter in my life.  Therefore, I do not have the energy or time to ask "Why me, God?" or "Woe is me!", but I fervently pray, "Lord, Thy will be done."  I have been repeatedly asked, "How can you look at your terminal illness this way? Why aren't you angry? Why aren't you bitter? Are you afraid to die?" My response is, "I accepted Christ in my life when I was a little girl at the age of 10 years old.  Throughout my entire life He has never forsaken me, but has always protected me. I trust Him, more than ever now, as I know He has allowed this cancer to come into my life for a reason. It is only through His grace and strength can I embrace each day with whatever may come my way."  Do I cry at times with this burden I am now carrying? You betcha! Am I sad as I watch this disease slowly, like an onion, peel away one layer at a time of my independence as well as what good health I still have? You betcha. Am I afraid of dying?  Absolutely not!

Throughout my life, I have chosen to believe in God's Word and His promises.  I have repeatedly drawn strength from Psalm 23:4, "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me." I am no longer walking through the valley of the shadow of death, but I am now climbing a mountain that has taken me to new heights along my journey.  I am, in fact, at a place in my life where I completely surrender all to God ~ my fears, my tears, and my uncertainties with respect to how much time I have left, believing He is preparing a place for my next everlasting destination.

Consequently, whatever time I may be given, it is my sincere passion to share with others the spiritual lessons I continue learning. "Why?" you might ask. Because, I believe God's purpose for my life is to pass along the Hope, Inspiration and Motivation (H.I.M.) that He has given to me throughout my life.  

Regardless while the cancer continues progressing throughout my body, I choose to believe in a glass half-full, not half-empty. I choose to be a better person, not a bitter person.  I choose to look at this final chapter in my life as another building block; in other words, for me to rise above this trial and turn it into a triumph rather than a tragedy. I choose, with God's grace, to make a difference in the lives of others, to build them up, and give them H.I.M.                

As I have said many times, "it is not what happens in my/our life, but how I/we choose to react that will define who I/we really am/are as a person. Therefore, to be free of the worries and cares of this life, I must surrender all to God, if I want His perfect peace in my life.  The lyrics of this beautiful, old hymn mean so much to me.  I sincerely pray it will be a blessing to you too. 

All to Jesus I surrender

All to Him I freely give.

I will always love and trust Him

In His presence daily live.

I surrender all

I surrender all.

All to Jesus, I surrender,

I surrender all.

All to Jesus, I surrender
Humbly at His feet I bow.
Worldly pleasures now forsaken,
Take me Jesus, Take me now.

All to Jesus I surrender
Lord, I give myself to Thee.
Fill me with your love and power,
Let Thy blessings fall on me.
(J.W. van De Venter, 1896)    

~ My Thought for the day ~ 

It is only when I surrender my all to Him,

Can God completely abide with me.