Somewhere in Time. . .

Somewhere in Time - Arrangement by Maksim Mrvica
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Everyone knows there are 24 hours in a day, which works out to exactly 8,760 hours in a year. If there is one very important life lesson I have learned these past four months, is that each one of us has the exact amount of time each day; that will never change, BUT if I worry about tomorrow’s troubles, it will only drain me of my strength for today. 

Yet, somewhere in time, there will come a time when you may take the time to ask, “Where has time gone?”  There are times when time cannot go fast enough, while other times when time cannot go slow enough.  I know I most certainly have lived both times. Have you? 

In Ecclesiastes 3, we read, “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven...a time to laugh, a time to cry, a time to be a born and a time to die....” Time is the most precious commodity in our life, but there are times when we think we never seem to have enough time to do the things we want. However, how often do we seem to waste time, pass time, or lose time?  And then somewhere in time, it feels like time has stopped!  A life changing event perhaps has happened.  That time for me was on April 16th at 1:00 p.m. – the day I was diagnosed with breast cancer. When it felt like time stood still. When I wished the hands of time went back. When on that very day, at that very hour in those very seconds my life changed forever.  At that instant, like no other time before, is when things that I once thought seemed so important, the plans I had made, the places where I might go, or the things I might do all seemed to vanish in that moment of time! When everything that once seemed to matter now become a major shift in time.

A few months ago I read a novel, by one of my favourite authors ~ Mitch Albom, who wrote a book, entitled, “The Time Keeper.” It is a book about Father Time and the meaning of time. In this novel, Mr. Albom challenges us to “try to imagine a life without timekeeping. . .man alone measures time. . .And because of this, man alone suffers a paralyzing fear that no other creature endures. A fear of time running out.” Why one might ask? Perhaps, it is because we all know our time on earth is limited. In fact, Mr. Albom also writes in his novel, “There is a reason why God limits our days. Why? To make each one precious.”

Life truly is precious. Therefore, why not simply take the time, instead of spending time, counting time, or filling time with things that really are not that all important and instead make the time as well as enjoy the time each day brings with those we hold near and dear to our hearts.  If only we could turn back time. What would we do differently? Time always moves forward, never backwards.  

So, what have I learned? Here are a few of my life’s lessons about time:  
1.  To just be and just listen. 
2.  Savour each moment, and to be still in the moment. 
3.  Stop and smell the roses – I really do.
4.  Enjoy the sunrise and the sunsets more often.
5.  Live, love and laugh more – this is not a cliché.
6.  To know that silence is beauty. Take the time to                  appreciate it. 
7.  Enjoy the small things in life for one can never get back        time.
8.  Life is precious – handle with prayer.
9.  Knowing we are all a special piece of God’s miraculous        puzzle of life. Spend your time wisely.
10.Time is a gift, that is why it is called the “present”.

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. 

Let us begin. ~ Mother Theresa ~

Strands of Praise. . .

His Eye is on the Sparrow ~ Arrangement by Dino Kartsonakis
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Strand (noun) – a single hair…even a line of thought…

Did you know that the average person has approximately 100,000 strands of hair? Up until this week, I was one of them.  However, since last week was the beginning of the first of six cycles of my chemotherapy treatment, and I was assured, repeatedly, that I would lose my hair very soon as part of the anticipated side effects, I made the decision to have it all removed.  This most certainly was not something I wanted to do, but chose to do, in order to ease the trauma rather than watching the strands of hair fall out on their own.  This is my reality!  Even though it brought tears of sadness not because of vanity, but rather a reminder of what my new “phase” in life will be over the coming months, I accept that this is a necessary phase that is making me better (not bitter) ~ short-term pain, for long-term gain.  

One of my favourite scripture passages, Matthew 10:29-31 reminds me, “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care.  And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”  I cannot begin to tell you what comfort these words mean to me right now knowing that God values me for who I am and not how I look or don’t look with or without hair as He sees something so different in me than when I look into a mirror.  I also know, while I step through my shadowlands, my almighty God promises to:

• Protect me and take care of me while I go through the valley of chemo and where I will receive His comfort and compassion – “Shout for joy, you heavens; rejoice, you earth; burst into song, you mountains! For the Lord comforts his people and will have compassion on His afflicted ones” (Isaiah 49:13);
• Reassure me that He will never leave me nor forsake me for He is my refuge and  strength – “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble” (Psalm 46:1);
• Abide in me and pays attention to the smallest details in my life as He protects and reassures me of His unconditional love  – “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me” (John 15:4);
• Inspire us that we may hear his song of Hope and know His loving-kindness – “Yet the Lord will command His loving-kindness in the day time, and in the night His song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life “ (Psalm 42:8);
• Supply all my needs as I persevere and endure these coming weeks while He calms my fears with His grace and power resting on me – “My grace is enough for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (II Corinthians 12:9);
• Exalt me beyond these shadowlands so that I may live among the Strands of PRAISE for Him, knowing He will: a) always go before me, b) never fail me, and c) always be with me – “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may exalt you (lift me up) in due time.” (I Peter 5:6)

“And the Lord, he it is that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismay.”(Deuteronomy 31:8)

Acts of Kindness. . .

All The Way  ~ Arrangement by Celine Dion with Frank Sinatra
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I have been truly overwhelmed by the genuine care and concern by others, since my diagnosis and ultimate medical treatments. The outpouring of “thinking of you” notes and cards, the beautiful flowers, the phone calls, the home visits, the endless hugs of encouragement, and even the gentle squeeze of a hand have touched me beyond words. These acts of kindness reminded me of a photo my dear friend, Polly, recently sent me of her two puppies. Sometimes, we all just need a gentle reminder that "It's okay, I am with you." 

In addition to my loved ones and dear friends, who have been so supportive and caring, I also cannot begin to give enough praise to the medical professionals who are on my team to make me well again.  They have shown so much compassion, and have gone above and beyond their professional duties, to help me understand each step I will be taking along my journey to recovery over these coming months. Although it does not necessarily totally eliminate my fears and apprehensions, it most certainly brings comfort and reassurance.

Robert J. Fuery once said, “Those who make compassion an essential part of their lives find the joy of life. Kindness deepens the spirit and produces rewards that cannot be completely explained in words. It is an experience more powerful than words. To become acquainted with kindness one must be prepared to learn new things and feel new feelings. Kindness is more than a philosophy of the mind. It is a philosophy of the spirit.”  I could not agree more.

Being told one has cancer is not only devastating, but very frightening and brings with it so many uncertainties. It is definitely a life changer!  However, I can choose to feel sorry for myself and become bitter and ask, “Why me Lord?”, or I can thank God for His goodness by showering me with the kindness of others so that I can become a better person from my own personal experience with cancer.  For I have learned that sorrow never leaves us where it found us. It is only through my sorrow can I plant seeds of compassion and understanding toward others when they are hurting and grieving.  When we support one another we can give the other person the courage to persevere, the calm to know they do not hurt alone, and the comfort in knowing “tough times never last, but tough people do” (Dr. Robert H. Schuller).  I truly believe that grief is part of the healing process that we all must face from time-to-time throughout life, but the acts of kindness from others is so uplifting that it can only carry us to new horizons along our journey of life that one could never have imagined.  

     

Have you had a kindness shown? Pass it on; 'Twas not given for thee alone, Pass it on; Let it travel down the years, Let it wipe another's tears, 'Til in Heaven the deed appears - Pass it on. ~ Henry Burton (1840-1930) ~ Clergyman, Writer

Stepping through the Shadowlands. . .

Woodland Meditation ~ Arrangement by Dan Gibson (Solitudes)
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Shadowland – a land or region of shadows; unrealities, or uncertainties

With only a few hours of sleep the night before, I can only describe waking up on the day of surgery as surreal.  I go through the motions of preparing myself mentally, physically, and spiritually for surgery, yet it truly felt like an out-of-body experience.  And so, I turn to my devotions, praying to God that He will grant me the strength, the courage, and the inner peace that I so desperately need to carry me through this day. For my life, as I once knew it, would be altered forever. As well I pray, “Lord, please be with my loved ones, who worry so, for I know I do not go down this path alone.”      

As my husband and I arrive to the hospital, we walk in silence to the Surgical Day Care Unit. There are no words to describe the emotions we both are facing or the state of mind we have been living through these past few weeks.  We are both in a state of sheer exhaustion from shock, heartache, frustration, anxiousness, and uncertainty. Yet, this would be the day that would give us a glimmer of hope knowing the cancerous tumors would be removed by whatever means necessary. How I thank God for my husband as he walks by my side every step of the way with his unconditional love and devotion to me.  

Once the nurses prep me for surgery, I am then wheeled away by stretcher to an area just outside the O.R. room where my surgeon and her medical team are preparing for my arrival.  It is during this brief, but still and quiet moment with much Trepidation and Resignation, yet Inspiration, that I embrace the promise of the Good Shepherd, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me…” (Psalm 23:4).   

Henry Ward Beecher, a 19^th century clergyman, once described Psalm 23 as the “nightingale of the Psalms. The nightingale sings its sweetest when the night is darkest” (Excerpt from God’s Psychiatry by Charles L. Allen).  And so, as I enter my shadowland, I repeat this comforting Psalm over and over again.  Even though I dread this moment as I am now rolled into the O.R. room, I truly feel the presence of God.  “For thou art the God of my strength” (Psalm 43:2).  It is like hearing the nightingale sing its sweet song in the darkness as the anesthetist prepares me for my darkness for surgery to begin.

Subsequently, it is with great relief and joy that I am told my surgery went well and the prognosis is optimistic, keeping in mind that further intense treatments will be required over the coming weeks and months.  New terrains and valleys are still to come, but for now I will not go there for I know I am truly blessed.

It is, therefore, my Aspiration to share with others, the hope that although we may encounter many hardships and frightening moments throughout the shadowlands of life, we can experience the Liberation from our darkest TRIALs.  For I know, and have experienced, that it is only truly in God’s presence will I find comfort, peace and blessed assurance, while stepping through the shadowlands. 

“Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” – (Psalm 91:1, NIV)