The Light. . .

Lead, Kindly Light ~ Arrangement by  John Henry Newman – Harp & Flute Duo – Mormon Tabernacle

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It has been a tradition for my husband and me, for quite some time, that we do a tour of the festive lights displayed throughout different areas of the city on Christmas Eve. One particular part of the city in the east, however, is always a thrill to see and never disappoints.  In order to get to this specific neighbourhood of about 40 homes, however, one must make many twists and turns on the dark side streets until eventually coming across a small crescent of homes that becomes a miniature village unto itself. Almost every single home along this crescent displays a beautiful Christmas scene of angels, stars, sleighs, snow globes, carolers, or nativity scenes, to name just a few; even synchronized seasonal music to complement the thousands of lights that glow in the dark. It is absolutely breathtaking and truly magical every time I see this festive display as one just follows the lights. 

As we slowly drive along, I could not help but ponder on what that evening must have been like so many years ago when the wise men, although their journey would have been very dark, just followed the bright star in the east that eventually brought them to the birth place of the Christ child lying in a manger.  

As I reflect on all the darkness and uncertainty that has happened in my life this past year, I am comforted to know that my journey, too, has not been in total darkness but has been guided by the promises of Jesus when I read, “I am the light of the world; he that follows me shall not walk in darkness but shall have the light of the life” (John 8:12). By casting my cares on Him and leaning on His everlasting love, He has truly been my source and resource to help me through my days of darkness and my nights of worry and uncertainty.  

For I have learned, it is only when I search God’s word, can I really know the peace and comfort of God’s promises when reading “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path” (Psalm 119:105) and "I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye" (Psalm 32:8). I may not currently have all the answers to my health scare this past year or know what lies in my future, but I do know that it is my faith in God that gives me the strength and the certainty that He will take care of me at all times and direct my path in the way it should go if I truly trust in Him. Though the path of the unexpected and unknown has been quite daunting this past year, I have been blessed in so many ways for which I thank God knowing that even in the darkest of days and the dreariest of nights, He is always with me. My hope and prayer is that others may see His light and feel His love through the window of my life as I share what He has done throughout my life as I follow His light!

Lord, make my life a window

for your light to shine through,

and a mirror to reflect your love

to all I meet. Amen 

~ Author Unknown ~

“God’s promises are like the stars;
the darker the night
the brighter they shine”
~ David Nicholas ~

I Wonder As I Wander. . .

I Wonder As I Wander ~ Arrangement by Unknown (Dulcimer & Guitar Duo)
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On this beautiful sunny, wintry afternoon with the glistening snow crunching under my feet, while walking with Jake, I wonder as I wander how different 2013 could have been. One might think this was the worse year of my life, but, in fact, it is probably one of the best because I am still here to tell my story! Sadly, however, there are many who were diagnosed with cancer this year that were not as fortunate. My thoughts and prayers go out to their loved ones. For none of us know when our last day on this earth will come. Though this year has truly been bitter sweet, I have so very much to be thankful for! I can truly claim Romans 12:12 when I read, “Be joyful in hope; patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer.”  For this most certainly sums up my year. I cannot begin to imagine facing my affliction with cancer alone. I cannot imagine my life without the encouraging hope and constant prayer of so many surrounding me through these difficult months.  I have been so blessed in so many ways ~ by the faithfulness and everlasting love of my dear husband, who has never left my side, by the constant encouragement of my family and dear friends, and by having the available medical facilities, technology and expertise of my medical team nearby to make me well again.  There are so many who must travel every day for miles and miles, hours and hours, through rain or snow, for their medical care, while I am only a short distance away.  I am so thankful I am where I am.  

Most importantly, I cannot imagine my life without my faith in my Creator – Lord and Saviour! For life as we experience it from day-to-day would have no meaning or purpose and would be oh, so hopeless.  Yet, God sent his Son, Jesus, to die for ordinary folks like you and me so that we might have eternal life.  

As this Christmas season is once again upon us, I wonder as I wander, how wonderful it must have been to bear witness on that special blessed night in Bethlehem.  Oh, how it must have felt to perhaps be a little drummer boy who may have played his best for Him, or like the three wise men following the star of wonder guiding them to the perfect Light bringing their gold, myrrh or frankincense.

As I wonder as I wander, one thing I know for sure I am one very blessed woman!    

“Jesus didn't say, 'Blessed are those who care for the poor.'
He said, 'Blessed are we where we are poor,
where we are broken.'
It is there that God loves us deeply
and pulls us into deeper communion with himself.”
~ Henri Nouwen

Sincerely Yours. . .

Sincerely Yours ~ Arrangement by Gary Chapman

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As I sift through my memory box reflecting on the beautiful cards and notes I have received these past few months wishing me back to good health, I am always touched by the complimentary closing remarks such as  “Take care”, “Thinking of you”, “Blessings and hugs”, Best wishes”, “Much love always”, and “Sincerely yours” to name just a few. These encouraging words have brought much comfort to me as I have been so very blessed by the compassion of others who have supported me along my journey to recovery.  It is with a profound debt of gratitude and heartfelt appreciation to those who have encouraged me as well as prayed for me during these difficult months that I can truly say I am forever “Sincerely Yours”.

This reminds me of a beautiful song entitled, “Sincerely Yours” that I used to sing (lyrics below).  It is so easy to take these words for granted in our everyday comings and goings. However, when a life changing event occurs in one’s life you realize how blessed you are to have those who dearly love you in your life more than ever before.  More importantly, as a child of God, I have so very much to be thankful for.  For it is with the grace of God that I know:

•  I have nothing to fear, not even death. Although my life here on earth is finite, I know my soul will live on. Instead of fears, I have hope. Instead of worries, I have peace that passes all understanding beyond this life.  “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me.” (Psalm 23:4)
•  I am never alone.  God has not, nor ever will, abandon me. He is my heavenly Father, my confidant and my provider.  He has brought solace and comfort countless times throughout my life.  No matter my circumstance, He is always there. “Fear not; for I am with you. Be not afraid for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you.” (Isaiah 41:10)
•  I am loved.  I am not only cherished by my loved ones, but my heavenly Father. I am precious in His sight and regardless what happens in my life, He will always love me and I will not be separated from His love. “We are more than conquerors through Him that loved us. . .For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor any other creation will separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus, our Lord.” (Romans 8:37-39)
•  I have a purpose in life. My purpose in life in not fame or fortune, but to live a life for Christ, to honour and glorify  Him, as well as  love and encourage others. “And be kind one toward another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God, for Christ’s sake, has forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:32); “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not unto your understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)     

Lord, I take my pen to write to You a letter

Knowing even now You know what's on my mind.

But I think perhaps it might make me feel better

If I see myself here written in a line.

As I close I see a phrase I took for granted

And it leaps out as I see it written there

As the truth of it begins to become planted

These two words have now become my heartfelt prayer ~

Sincerely Yours, 

Lord I sign myself to You

Sincerely Yours,

With a Strong and honest wish

To be the best that I can be at what I am 

Without a thought for me

Lord teach me how to be ...

Sincerely Yours,

Without a proud or selfish line

Sincerely Yours,

From now until there is no time

Please make my life become a letter you can keep

And never throw away

I'll write until the day

That I become

Sincerely Yours,

Sincerely Yours,

Sincerely Yours,

Sincerely ~ Yours.

~ Music & Lyrics by Gary Chapman ~

“Lord, I thank you for what you have done 
and continue to do in my life, 

through the good and the bad, 

through the sorrow and the strife.

With this humble heart, I am “Sincerely Yours.” 

~ By Bonita ~

Broken Dreams. . .

People Need The Lord  ~ Arrangement by Ray Boltz
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As I walk through the Cancer Clinic, I see a sea of people from all walks of life, young and old, both men and women, some happy, some sad, some chatty, some quiet, but who, just like me, report to the registration desk and then have a seat in the waiting area until they are called for their next round of cancer treatment.  As I wait to be called for my next treatment, I sometimes wonder if, like me, they wonder, “If I wake up will this only have been a dream?” But “no” this is my reality, as is theirs, which we are all going through. As I look around, I see people passing by one another with their own cares, their own private pain and fears, while laughter hides their silent cries with perhaps broken dreams of yesterdays or tomorrows. Oh, if only things could be different. If only, we could turn back the hands of time. If only. . .  

Sadly, broken dreams are part of life that we all experience at one time or another.  As painful as broken dreams may be, however, rather than seeing a broken dream as an ending, I choose to see it as a new beginning.  For I know that God, in whom I trust, has a far better “plan” for my life than I could ever dream. It is a time to look up rather than give up.  It is a time when I draw nearer to God rather than become distant.  When disappointments and broken dreams come, as they most certainly will throughout life, I cling to such verses that remind me:

• “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” (Romans 12:12)

• “But He knows the way I take, when He has tested me, I will come forth as gold.” (Job 23:10)       

• “Trust in the Lord with all my heart, and lean not unto my own understanding. In all my ways acknowledge Him, and he shall direct my paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

• “Wait on the Lord, be of good courage, and He shall strengthen my heart; Yes, wait on the Lord.” (Psalm 27:14)

For I have learned although this chapter in my life has been painful, this too shall pass.  As I walk by faith with God’s grace, I will become a better and stronger person. For I know I have not travelled down this path of broken dreams alone, but God is always with me and walking me “through” this valley.  If my desire is to be an encouragement and inspiration to others, how can I empathize with others who suffer, if I have not suffered?  It is my sincere prayer, if you are suffering from broken dreams that you too will know the love of God, and know with God nothing is impossible if you put your trust in Him.

I Trust In Thee

Though pain and sorrow came my way

And the tears began to flow,
I cried, "Dear Lord, I trust in Thee,"

While my faith began to grow.

~ By Bonita ~   

“Lord, help me to remember that your love is greater

than any of life’s disappointments

and your plans for my life are

far greater than my dreams could ever imagine.” 

~ By Bonita ~

      

Be Still. . .

Quiet Time With God ~ Arrangement by James Dering

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As part of my last three chemotherapy treatments, I was required to wear a pair of oversize mittens and slippers that were frigid beyond belief.  I truly thought before the end of each cycle I would end up with frostbite.  It was that freezing cold and painfully uncomfortable to the point that I could not be still and was constantly restless throughout the treatment.  The numbing, tingling sensation involving both my hands and feet was extremely challenging.  Occasionally, I would slip my hands out of the mittens for temporary relief but reluctantly would have to put my hands back into the mittens until the treatment period was finished.  I cannot tell you what relief it was when I saw the empty IV bag an hour later!  The purpose for wearing the mittens and slippers, I understand, is to numb the blood vessels in both your hands and feet so less chemo medication reaches these areas, in order to prevent the nails from discolouring or shedding. Although, I have discovered that one still ends up having some nail discolouration as well as numbness and tingling weeks later that will hopefully clear eventually; only time will tell. 

Being still can be very challenging for some as they feel they must constantly be on the go or doing something all the time.  During these past few months, however, as my world turned upside down, I have learned to appreciate being still and am reminded of God’s reassurance, “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10).  For I have learned, only He is our safe haven and strength in times of struggles and stress.  Consequently, by being still one learns many lessons:

• Letting go of worry and fear, and savour the quietness of the soul that only God can give each and every day.  "When He gives quietness, who then can make trouble..." (Job 34:29)

• Treasure the peace and calmness when experiencing the serenity of the body, mind and soul when trusting God in all things.  "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee because he trusteth in thee." (Isaiah 26:3)

• Wait patiently on the Lord, for only He will give the inner contentment, peace, and quietness when my heart is troubled. "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you..." (John 14:27)

• Just like the dew that comes in the quiet evenings to water the gardens, so does God’s grace water and enrich my soul when I am calm and lean on Him for His nourishment of peace and tranquility. "And the peace of God that passeth all understanding shall keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:7)

• Cherish this resting period as I listen to the whispers of God’s comfort for my body, mind and soul to heal and be restored.  "He maketh me lie down in green pastures; He leadeth me beside still waters. He restoreth my soul..." (Psalm 23:2-3)   

Remember, yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a “gift” and that is why it is called the present!  I pray that the beauty of God’s peace may help take away the strain and stress that you may be experiencing in your life today when you, too, learn to be still and trust in the resources of God’s grace and His presence.

Be Still

"Be still, and know that I am God"

That's all He asks of me.

My trust I give to Him alone,

My mind is stayed on Thee.

~ By Bonita ~

“May the quiet whispers of God's presence and comfort 
still your body, mind and soul."
~ By Bonita ~

God's Recipe for Life. . .

My Jesus, I Love Thee ~ Arrangement by David Baroni

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As I stood at the kitchen counter measuring all the ingredients to make a pan of brownies for my husband recently, I could not help recall a story I once heard about a mother’s words of encouragement to her daughter, who was struggling with life’s disappointments.  Sometimes we, too, may wonder, “What did I do deserve this?” or “Why did this have to happen in my life?” If you are like me, perhaps you will find this story heartwarming, and one, I am sure, many of us can most certainly relate to in our own daily lives.  

A daughter is telling her mother how everything is going wrong ~ she’s failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her, and her best friend is moving away.  Meanwhile, her mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter replies, ‘Absolutely mom, I love your cake.’ 

‘Here, have some cooking oil,’ her mother offers. 

‘Yuck’ says her daughter.

‘How about a couple of raw eggs?’ 

‘Gross, mom,’ replies her daughter.

‘Would you like some flour then or maybe a teaspoon of baking soda?’ 

‘Mom, those are all yucky!’

To which the mother replies, ‘Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves, but when they are all put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake!  God works the same way. (Author Anonymous)

At times we may wonder why God allows us to go through sad and difficult times.  But if we allow God to work out His plans for our lives then they always work for our good.  We just have to trust Him!  It is so easy for us to become discouraged and disheartened with life’s disappointments when things do not go the way we planned or when the unexpected seems so overwhelming we do not know what to do. However, we can always turn to God, who always has the answers for life’s challenges.  The following is another recipe I discovered that pretty much sums up what I try to remind myself of every day:

GOD'S RECIPE FOR LIFE
• 1 pinch of pain
• 1 1/4 cup of sorrow
• 1 1/2 tbs of loneliness
• 1/3 cup of disappointments
• 3 cups of forgiveness
• 4 cups of caring
• 5 cups of love

Chop up pain, sorrow, loneliness and disappointments in your heart, until there is peace.  Then add forgiveness and carefully stirring slowly until there is hope.  Next add the 5 cups of love and let simmer until there is joy. It is recommended you have a bowl of this every morning. (Author Anonymous)

With God, nothing is impossible! He is always working all things together, good and bad, that happens in our lives.  As I am reminded, “He makes all things work together for good to them that love God” (Romans 8:28).  So, rather than asking, “God, why is this happening to me?” (Yup, even cancer!) Perhaps, try asking, “God, what can I learn from this experience so I can become more like Jesus ~ more caring, more encouraging, more compassionate?”  For I know, I am always His and He is mine and that is a recipe for life that I savour every day. 

When we put our cares in His hands, 

He puts His peace in our hearts. 

~ Anonymous ~

Soar Like An Eagle. . .

You Raise Me Up ~ Arrangement by Unknown (Violin Instrumental)

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Although these past few months have felt like I have been in the middle of one of the greatest battles of my life, I feel like I can soar like an eagle – my surgery is behind me and my chemotherapy is now complete for which I thank God over and over! Although further chapters of treatment are still forthcoming, we are persevering. I can honestly claim another promise of God when I read, “But those who wait (hope/trust) in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint” (Isaiah 40:31). I marvel each time I see a majestic eagle soar through the magnificent blue sky with its massive wings spread out as it proclaims freedom, strength, and inspiration for all of us. Just like the eagle rising to new heights as it soars through the sky, when we choose to put our hope and trust in God, He gives us wings to rise above our trials and sufferings so that we can turn our anxieties into assurance, our burdens into blessings, our fears into faith, our helplessness into hope, our sorrows into song, our trials into triumph, and our weariness into worship.

For I have learned, it is not what happens in my life that defines who I am, BUT how I choose to react to life’s challenges. If we maintain a positive attitude with faith, hope and trust we, too, can soar beyond life’s ever changing winds and turbulence that come our way and rise above our disappointments, loss, pain, sufferings, and weariness, which all of us inevitably experience throughout life. For God promises, “He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings shall you trust” (Psalm 91:4). How comforting to be embraced under His wings knowing we do not go through our valleys or climb our mountains alone for He is with us! It is only when we face our trials and sufferings with a positive attitude, while putting our hope and trust in God, that the testing of our faith develops our perseverance (James 1:3). There is no doubt there has been days, during these past few months, when I have truly been tried and tested beyond belief through my battle of chemotherapy with pain, suffering and fatigue, of which I will never forget. Nevertheless, I have been so blessed to have the abundant prayers, unconditional love, compassion, and support of my loved ones to help me endure these difficult times as well as the excellent medical care I have received from the St. Joseph's Health Care London Breast Care Centre and the London Regional Cancer Program. Most of all, however, as I put my hope and trust in God and have drawn nearer to Him, through His grace and strength, He has empowered me with the calm assurance and confidence that I, too, can soar like an eagle. How thankful I am that under God’s wings I can rise above all obstacles in my life for which I give Him all the praise and glory!

With God’s wings under you and His strength behind you, 

you can rise above whatever lies ahead of you. ~ By Bonita

Facing Fear. . .

Abide With Me ~ Arrangement by Joshua Andrews
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Uncertainty, worry and anxiety all result in fear that many people face today. Whether it is due to fear of job loss, fear of failure, fear of financial ruin, fear of loneliness, fear of losing a loved one, fear of rejection, or fear of developing a major illness, like cancer, we will all experience some form of fear during our lifetime. Franklin D. Roosevelt once said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” For me, knowing how to face my fears during these past few months has been through much prayer, meditation and reading what God’s Word has to say about fear that has me given much inner peace and comfort. For some, fear can be so debilitating and have such a hold on their life that they rob themselves of not only today’s joy, but of God’s promises to help face their fears. We are never promised that we will not experience frightful moments or unexpected troubles in our lives that will not give us times of worry, anxiety or sleeplessness. However, God does give us many promises in His Word that can give us assurance that we do not have to go through these fearful times alone, if we put our faith and trust in Him. For it is only when we study God’s Word can we build our faith so that we are less fearful knowing we are under His wings when we abide with Him for “He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with His wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection (Psalm 91:4 NLT).

It has been during the darkest moments in my life, like being diagnosed with cancer, when I have felt God’s assurance the most knowing that He is with me at all times. Rather than choosing to live in fear, I have chosen to live in faith knowing that God will give me the confidence that He will not only be with me, but will give me the strength and help me through my darkest hours. In Isaiah 41:10, I read, “Fear not, I am with you, be not afraid for I am your God, I will give you strength and will help you” and Isaiah 43:1-2, “Fear not, I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are Mine. When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown."

Sometimes the storms in our lives can be so overwhelming that we do not think we will ever survive the turmoil we are in or that it will ever end. Yet, if we put our trust in God, He gives us the hope and assurance that we can endure these troubled times and that He will carry us through these unchartered waters, while He calms the wind and perilous waves in our lives just like He calmed the wind and sea for His disciples who found themselves in troubled waters when He said, “Peace be still, and the wind ceased and there was a great calm (Mark 4:39). For when God is in the boat of life with us, we have the assurance that He will not only get us to the other side of our troubled times, but He will always be with us. How comforting and reassuring it is to know God’s promise that He will “never leave me, or abandon me” when facing my fear so that I can confidently cling to Him and say “the Lord is my helper and I will not fear” (Hebrews 13:5-6). For I have learned, when fear comes knocking on my door, if I send faith to answer it, I will find there is no one there because I have put my trust in God!

By looking fear in the face, 

it is not just the sense of God’s presence, 

but the fact of God’s presence

that gives me strength to persevere.

~ By Bonita ~

Heavenly Hope. . .

Streams of Hope ~ Arrangement by Dan Gibson (Solitudes) 
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Recently, I read that approximately 24,000 new cases of breast cancer, or 1 in 8 women, will be diagnosed this year alone in Canada. I find that to be an astonishing statistic and, sadly, I found myself to be part of that statistic! However, with the tremendous medical improvements in both detection and treatment, there is so much more hope for individuals diagnosed with breast cancer than ever before. For this, I am extremely grateful and it is my hope that I will be one of the statistics to be known as a long-term survivor. For each time I have one more form of treatment, whether it be chemotherapy or radiation, it is just another boost of hope to make me well again; although I have no guarantee of long-term survivability, I still have hope on my side! 

Hope is a wonderful coping mechanism in our lives that each one of us is blessed with. If it were not for my faith that brings me my ‘heavenly hope’ every day through my prayers, meditation and reading God’s Word, coping with such a diagnosis can be very distressing and sets you on an emotional roller-coaster that can bring so much grief. “What is faith? It is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see” (Hebrews 11:1 NLT).

Grief is not immune to any of us and it comes in many forms throughout one’s life. It is our choice, however, how we choose to cope with our grief either with hopelessness or hopefulness. I once read that when we grieve, we will go through at least five stages of grief such as: 1) deniaI, 2) anger, 3) bargaining, 4) depression, and 5) acceptance (Kubler-Ross E. 1970). 

As I can only speak for myself, I can honestly say that of the five stages I chose to immediately ‘accept’ my grieving news when first diagnosed with breast cancer because:

1) If I put my head in the sand, in order to deny my diagnosis due to fear, this would only detach me from my reality and would possibly hinder what the best medical treatment may have been available to me, and time would have been against me rather than in my favour.
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)

2) If I became angry over my grief this would only alienate me from my faith that God’s peace and strength are with me at all times.
“Thou will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee. Trust ye in the Lord forever; for in the Lord is everlasting strength.” (Isaiah 26:3-4).

3) If I tried bargaining with God then I would only betray my trust in Him knowing that He cares for me and will take care of me through these difficult times.
“Casting all your care on Him because He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)

4) If I became depressed then I would only deprive myself of His promises and blessings of peace that I so desperately need every hour of every day during this challenging journey.
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:27)

5) As a result, my acceptance gives me assurance that I do not go through these uncharted waters alone, but His unwavering love, promises, blessings, peace, strength, and heavenly hope are with me.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

My ‘acceptance’ of my initial diagnosis by no means took away all my apprehensions or sadness, BUT it most certainly helped to:

• Heal me mentally, physically, and spiritually by becoming a stronger person through the power and grace of God;
• Make me more Optimistic knowing I am always in God’s hands;
• Make me more Passionate about life and each moment of each day that I wake up to;
• Instill in me to Encourage others as often as I can when they are going through their own hardships and show them compassion by inspiring them to never give up but to always HOPE.

For I have learned, it is only through my adversity have I grown closer to God rather than through prosperity. It is only through my trials have I learned to persevere, and through my perseverance I have become strong, and from my strength can I know HOPE (Romans 5:3-4).

So, with this heavenly hope that is the heartbeat to my soul, I look forward to my tomorrow’s, what new opportunities God has planned for me, and the strength as well as courage to face all circumstances that may come into my life knowing God is always with me and helps me to persevere and press on.

Hope is the heartbeat to one’s soul 

while one’s faith continues to grow. 

~ By Bonita ~

Autumn Splendour. . .

Give Thanks ~ Arrangement by David Baroni

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If asked what my favourite season is, I would most likely say “Spring” with “Fall” being a close second! I love watching nature bring forth new life with the spring flowers sprouting through the ground while the grass turns emerald green and the leaves burst from their buds like a sea of green among the trees all the while the robins cheerily sing. We are fortunate, however, to live in this part of the country where we can truly enjoy all four seasons in each of their splendour. There is no doubt that autumn's beautiful array of colours with its crimson reds, pumpkin orange and golden yellows is absolutely breath-taking. It truly is magical when on an October sunny day, with its deep blue sky and refreshing crisp air, one can hear the delightful sounds of crunching and rustling of fallen leaves on a trampled pathway or listen to the falling leaves while strolling through the woods with the sun’s gentle rays shining through the wind-swept trees.

In Ecclesiastes 3:1 we read, “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” This verse reminds me that just like the four seasons, life is always changing for each of us. Each season in our lives has a distinct purpose and will bring experiences in our lives that we should embrace because life is all about change. Yet, for some, change seems difficult to adjust to and perhaps even frightening. However, if you understand and accept that life is all about change and that each season brings forth its own beauty, along with its own challenges, this will enable you to persevere and become wiser for it. It is all about our attitude in not only how we choose to 'act,' but in how we choose to 'react' to each challenge we are faced with. 

Consider the wise farmer who patiently waits and is steadfast in allowing the fields to be restored of nutrients while lying dormant during the long, cold winter. When spring arrives, the farmer will put in long hours to nurture and properly prepare the ground before planting his seeds of choice. As summer comes along, the diligent farmer will continue to care and cultivate the field so his crop can flourish. Finally, fall arrives and the crop is now ready for harvest allowing the farmer to enjoy the fruits of his hard labour. The apostle Paul reminds us in Galatians 6:9, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” 

There truly have been days, while going through chemotherapy as you prepare to enter each new cycle that you really feel like you want to give up. You are mentally, physically and, yes, even spiritually drained at times. However, it is only through my unwavering faith and belief that there is a purpose for all things in my life as I persevere by the grace of God as well as receive the unconditional love and support of my loved ones, who continually uplift me and encourage me. I am comforted when I read Romans 8:28, “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” I believe that God’s divine providence will continue to carry me through these challenging times and He will never abandon me as I draw nearer to Him. For I know this season, too, shall pass.

Although the seasons in our lives will always change, as the lyricist, Bruce Robertson, has beautifully written:

“Praise the Lord, He never changes,
I come to Him He’s always there.
He comforts me on every level,
takes the burden that I bear.
Praise the Lord, He never changes,
He’s never any other way.
And He’ll be the same tomorrow,
as He was and is today!”

What words of encouragement and reassurance that we can hold onto knowing we never go through a season of life without Him!

Spirit of Life

Like autumn in all of its splendour

Gives praise to the Lord above,

May your Spirit of Life dwell in me

So others may see your love.

~ By Bonita ~

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness,

goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” 

(Galations 5:22)

God's Wireless Connection. . .

My Faith Looks Up to Thee ~ Arrangement Unknown
(Please click for background music as you read this message of H.I.M.)

It is unbelievable how in the past few years there has been such a tremendous advancement in the world of wireless communication. It does not matter where one goes, someone seems to have a mobile device of some sort in their hands at all times so they are available to connect instantly with someone else. I once read there are approximately two billion users worldwide using some form of wireless device. I find this amazing! It seems if you are not texting, tweeting, instant messaging, or using some other social media network 24/7 then you are definitely not up with the times. I cannot begin to tell you how many times my siblings and nieces have been trying to convince me to get with the times and be part of the text message phenomenon. And yet, I have been unable to convince myself what advantage it is for me, personally, to want to do that.

Fortunately, when I communicate with God, I don’t have to worry about topping up my cell phone’s airtime balance, recharging the battery, locating the misplaced device, wearing a Bluetooth in my ear to talk with Him while travelling in my vehicle, or using a Global Positioning System, aka GPS, to track Him down. No computer server, no satellite dish or transformer required, only the ability to meditate on God’s word as I read in Psalm 19:14, “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer” and pray to Him as I read, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand (Philippians 4:6-7). In other words, day or night, I am always linked to God’s wireless connection.

Although prayer and meditation have always been a part of my life, I cannot begin to describe the nearness I have felt with God these past few months more than ever before in my life! By praying and meditating on His Word daily, I am fully able to feel His compassion, loving presence, comfort, strength, and encouragement through these difficult days. As a result, I have a calmness to my soul, contentment and inner peace to my heart, and new hope for my tomorrows. Regardless of where my life’s journey may go or when it may end, I have learned that my true source for answers to any of life’s challenges and hardships is to stay connected to God knowing that as my faith looks up to Him, His strength will He impart on this fainting heart.

My Faith Looks Up to Thee

May faith looks up to Thee,

Thou Lamb of Calvary,

Saviour divine;

Now hear me when I pray,

Take all my sin away,

O let me from this day

Be wholly thine!

May thy rich grace impart

Strength to my fainting heart,

My zeal inspire;

As Thou has died for me,

O may my love to Thee,

Pure, warm and change-less be

A living fire!

While life’s dark maze I tread

And griefs around me spread,

Be Thou my guide;

Bid darkness turn to day,

Wipe sorrow’s tears away,

Nor let me ever stray,

From thee aside.

When ends life’s transient dream,

When death’s cold sullen stream

Shall o’er me roll.

Blest Saviour, then, in love,

Fear and distrust remove,

O bear me safe above,

A ransomed soul. 

Author ~ Ray Palmer 

Prayer is the key of the morning 

and the bolt of the evening.

~ Mahatma Ghandi ~

Living In The Trenches. . .

Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus ~ Arrangement by David Baroni 

(Please click for background music as you read this message of H.I.M.)

Most of us might associate the reference “life in the trenches” with the Great War of 1914-1918, also known as World War I. Typically, a designated number of soldiers would serve in the front lines for four straight days, where most of the danger occurred. This truly is where life and death were only a breath away from one another. The soldiers would then serve another four days in close reserve, and then finally be given four days for rest. In a similar fashion, another trench known as the “support line” would have dugouts cut into the side of the trench wall where more infantry personnel were available to provide relief to their comrades on the frontlines and/or assist in whatever capacity necessary. Other trenches known as the “communication trenches” connected both the front and rear lines, in order for the soldiers to fetch equipment, supplies or retrieve additional infantry backup when ordered by their commanding officers. In other words, there would be an army of personnel behind the scenes to support their comrades living in the trenches at all times during these treacherous conditions (C. Baker, “The Long, Long Trail”, 1996-2010). 

I am more than half-way through my chemotherapy. Although there is no way I can fully appreciate or imagine the ultimate sacrifice our dear veterans and allies of both World Wars paid for us to have our freedom today, there are times, since the beginning of my treatments in early July, that I, too, have felt like I am “living in the trenches.” It is a long, narrow channel with its twists and turns, as well as ups and downs, which only you must crawl into alone as you prepare yourself psychologically, physically and spiritually each time you travel through a new treatment phase. Each time you enter the trench, it feels that much darker and that much longer than the time before because you just know it is going to take you that much longer to physically go through it and recover from it. During this journey, the wrath of chemotherapy drugs circulate throughout your body by flowing through the bloodstream; while at the same time wrecking havoc in every bone, muscle fibre and cell of your being as well as the pre- and post-medications you must take during each chemo cycle. It is a journey where there are truly no words to express the toll the dreadful side effects have on one’s overall well-being. All you keep praying is that once the course of treatment is eventually completed, the healthy cells will then have a chance to grow back normal, knowing that tomorrow is yet another day when the sun will return, and perhaps you may feel like you are among the living again. Like the Psalmist, David, you cry out, “Have mercy upon me, O Lord; for I am weak: O Lord, heal me; for my bones are in agony. . .I am weary with groaning; all night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears (Psalm 6:2, 6, NIV). It has felt like such a long journey, BUT I am so very grateful that I can almost see the finishing line when this too shall pass as I only have two more treatment cycles to go before I enter the next phase of intensive treatment with radiation. 

I have been so blessed with my own infantry of comrades, who have been there from the very beginning of my illness encouraging me, supporting me and praying for me. It has truly only been through the grace of God, my Commander-in- Chief, and the support of my loved ones that has helped me soldier on from cycle to cycle. For God has given me ‘Guidance’ in these uncertain times, given me ‘Protection’ when I have been fearful, and given me ‘Strength’ when I have been weak and would, otherwise, have been unable to endure this journey on my own. I cannot begin to express how comforting it is when I read, Psalm 145:8,18, and 20, “The Lord is gracious and full of compassion…The Lord is near to all that call upon Him…The Lord watches over all that love Him.” In other words, He has been my "GPS" while living in the trenches and has blessed me daily with my dear loved ones, who have given me such tremendous support and encouragement. For I have learned where God guides, He also provides knowing that I will be able to see victory at the end of my very own personal warfare. For this, I will, forever, be humbled and grateful. 

Learn to Cope

Seeing the good in everything

is what gives us so much hope,

Praying to God for everything

is what helps us learn to cope.

~ By Bonita ~

When God Has Other Plans. . .

Within the Heart of God ~ Arrangement by David Baroni
(Please click for background music as you read this message of H.I.M.)

I found it quite interesting when I heard on the news, recently, about the story of an American balloonist, Jonathan Trappe, who had planned to fly over the transatlantic enroute to France by way of 300 multi-coloured Helium balloons that were attached to a lifeboat, just in case he had to make an emergency landing into the ocean. However, due to unexpected difficulties, he had to abandon his attempt to fly over the ocean and, subsequently, landed in a remote area of Newfoundland. Hence, his plans were changed. Regardless, Mr. Trappe was quite optimistic when he said, “Adventure isn’t what you planned on, it’s what you find.” I found his comment to be enlightening. For plans we may make in our lives do not necessarily always go the way we had hoped or prepared for. Nevertheless, it is the adventure along the way that find us embracing life’s journey in a way in which we could have never had imagined when change happens in our lives. Although changes may not always be happy, they are not always sad either. For without change, how does one grow emotionally, mentally, or spiritually?

From the time I can remember, I always wanted to work in the field of medicine administratively. Therefore, when I entered high school I planned my courses toward further post-secondary education to become a medical secretary. Those college years seem so far away now; however, throughout the past 34 years, my role in the administrative medical field has changed and evolved many times, in order to hone my skills, expertise and knowledge in a profession that I have enjoyed very much. I have had wonderful opportunities throughout my career, beyond my hopes and dreams. However, these days rather than the hospital setting being my work of employment, it is now my refuge for healing and getting well. Hence, the plans for my life have, currently, dramatically changed from being an employee within a hospital to now becoming one of its patients instead.

For some, the obvious question to such a dramatic life change may be, “Why?” “Why has this happened to me?” “Where is this going to take me?” “What will I do now?” One may not, necessarily, immediately understand why such change had to occur in one’s life; however, I truly believe that when God has other plans for my life He will exceed abundantly with His purpose and plans for my life beyond whatever I could have ever imagined; knowing He will empower me to endure all circumstances in my life (Ephesians 3:20). For God has promised that He will always be there with us, giving us the strength day by day to face each circumstance and challenge that has changed our life’s plans through our tears, our sorrows, our pain, and our uncertainties. By putting my trust in Him, God has filled me with His love, joy, peace, and hope (Romans 15:13). Consequently, I am surrounded by His ‘presence’ with my life, I am comforted by His ‘peace’ in my life, and I am encouraged by His ‘plans’ for my life. I believe in His promise when He says, “I will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). So, when God has other plans for my life and changes come my way, I know I can trust in His ‘power,’ His ‘presence,’ His ‘promises,’ and His ‘purpose’ for my life. For I have learned, the more I accept God’s plans in my life, the less difficult change will be.

God’s plans and my plans

how different they may be,

Yet, I trust in Him,

as I walk with Him,

For He’ll never forsake me.

~ By Bonita ~