The Big "C". . .

Somebody Bigger Than You and I - Arrangement by Elvis
(Please click for background music as you read this message of H.I.M.)

No matter how the diagnosis is presented to you the news is devastating! No one ever wants to be told they have cancer, or as it is sometimes referred to as the “Big C”.   

At first, one wants to go into denial. Yes, I know something is there but I am sure it will go away on its own. Nevertheless, when I realized the lump was not going away then I was jolted back into reality and I knew that it was time to get out of denial and jump into action!  Time was of essence here and I began to ponder, “How much time have I already lost?” Hence, I called the Ontario Breast Screening Program right away, which I had participated in before, to arrange a mammogram, even though there was NO history of breast cancer in my family (By the way, I recommend this program for all women when they turn 50!).  However, subsequent to the mammogram, I was then scheduled for further imaging and an ultrasound as requested by the radiologist. My worst fears now go on high alert, although I have yet to be officially told a diagnosis! Other than my husband knowing about these additional tests, I kept my suspicions to myself.  I fear the worst and hope for the best. I pray, “Oh God, please be with me!  Oh, God help me! Do you hear me?” And then I am reminded, “I will never leave you; nor forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5). Clinging to this promise brings such peace knowing Christ was there to “comfort” me.

After what I thought was an exceptionally longer than normal ultrasound procedure, I was advised by the radiologist that an urgent biopsy would also be performed that same day as the ultrasound results looked ominously “suspicious.” As I attempt to absorb this distressing news, and the tears begin rolling down my cheek, it immediately brings with it emotions of uncertainty, fear, worry, and tremendous sadness. At that very moment, I knew my life had changed forever! However, with all the emotional strength inside me not to lose it, I am reminded of another promise, “God is my refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” (Psalm 46:1).  I am so thankful that Christ was there to take “care” of me.

As the biopsy procedure is nearly finished, I worried not for myself, but for my beloved husband and our loved ones. How do I tell my husband? How do I tell our family? How do I tell my friends? How much longer can I work? How will everything get done at work that needs to be done? I have no back up! What are the next steps? How soon can I get treatment? What are my options? What is my prognosis? My mind races out of control!  Meanwhile, the radiologist, who was so very kind and compassionate, tries to reassure me to the best of her ability that I will be seen as quickly as possible by a surgeon to discuss the next steps and will discuss the results with me.  It is also during my time of distress that I am encouraged by yet another promise, “Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart.” (Psalm 31:24).  Thank you Lord for your promises that you will not only “comfort” me and take “care” of me, but YOU will also give me the strength and “courage” to face whatever lies ahead.  Knowing these promises, I am so very thankful and grateful that there is "Somebody Bigger than You and I," or for that matter cancer, who is in control of my life.  For it is Christ, who is the “Big C” in my life, not cancer!  He is the one who is listening to me, comforting me, caring for me, and encouraging me to persevere each and every day knowing He is always with me, guiding me, and walking beside me!

"Casting on your care upon Him, for He careth for you." (I Peter 5:7)